If you don’t understand me in silence, you will never understand me in words
I found my analysis paper when I’m almost finished re-doing it. shit but I’m still thankful.. saved me from thinking again for the last part.
So it’s our vacation. I graduated from being a CO. I’m no longer a junior. One more school year and I’m off to college. I still don’t have the energy to be happy... I dunno.. lately I’ve been so lifeless.. too lazy to make an effort to even socialize. Maybe it’s just my period..but it had not affected me before.
One of my friends told me in her letter that I’m a cold person. She even said that she hadn’t felt any sweetness from me. I think that was harsh. Harsh because... I was.... hurt. I never expected that she feel like that towards me. I mean, all along I thought she understands me. I’m not that kind of person who says what she wants to say most of the time, who shows what she feels, who’s good in saying what’s inside her mind, and who’s good in expressing her care and love for others.
I’m not vocal or showy or expressive. I told her that. And she told me I can never be like that forever.. I just nod. I know being like this is...undesirable, but it isn’t wrong right? I’m trying to improve myself bit by bit but telling me that I’m cold would put me down straight to the ground. And she did put me down. I’m easily hurt.. sensitive.. that’s why I’m afraid to tell them that I do care for them because that will give them another chance to hurt me. I’m good in hiding my emotions but too much will break me. I’m doing a good job in fighting back my tears. I’m such an emo person and I don’t like it. it never fails to remind me that I’m weak.
Ok so there.. I think i should stop..i’m not used in explaining myself.
plugs
foxy ira schrenima may erised reine sakura-riu yuki elfprince saydie
And I don't want the world to see me
coz I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
-- "Iris" goo goo dolls |
