| welcome |
waheee...buhay na naman ang aking blog!
|
| Tag board |
|
|
| Other things |
| Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Duis ligula lorem, consequat eget, tristique nec, auctor quis, purus. Vivamus ut sem. Fusce aliquam nunc vitae purus. |
|
|
| Saturday, May 05, 2007 |
it’s late I know, but something crossed my mind and I can’t sleep because of it.
I just remembered the time when I got very upset with myself.
That’s when I first failed a subject.
I was a new freshman in college then. And I got upset not because it’s my first time to fail but because
I lost my scholarship together with it.
My mom was very disappointed in me. She can’t stop herself blaming me every now and then.
I cried myself to sleep for several nights because of that.
She had never blamed me like that before. I never saw her cry before because of something I’ve done wrong.
Only then.
And I can’t understand why.
Shouldn’t she be thankful that I was able to use the scholarship for at least a sem?
Couldn’t she be thankful that in the first place I was able to get myself a scholarship?
Couldn’t she see that I really don’t want what had happened?
And just now - - after a year - - I suddenly realized what she must have felt that time.
The time I was granted the scholarship she may have felt a great relief.
A relief that means she can let go of the burden of financing my studies, she is spared of sleepless nights
worrying about where to get the money for my tuition fee.
And when I lost it it seemed like I gave her back all the burden she had set free, I once again pushed to her
the responsibility she had forgotten to worry about.
It must have been terrible. More terrible than what I felt that time.
I’m sorry mommy.
I wish I can say those words to her… |
posted by cameL @ 1:16:00 AM  |
|
|
|
|
| Friday, May 04, 2007 |
I watched myx earlier.
And I don’t know why the song of urbandub made me teary-eyed.
Well yeah, I know the reason but you’ll also wonder why when I tell you that that song is titled “first of summer”
It’s not sentimental at all, it was rather energetic and a blissful song really.
But then just hearing the song and the familiar voice of the vocalist together with their distinct way of playing
music just brought back so many memories.
You’ve always heard their songs way back in highschool. Your friend lent her urbandub cd to you and you
developed a habit of listening to it everyday at the break of dawn while preparing yourself for school.
You do that because you know that anytime your friend will take back her cd and you will not be able to
listen to it anymore.
You go to school singing their songs. The tune remains in your head while your teacher is lecturing.
You associate their music with the events of the first few hours of the day. It has been like that for
almost a month, everyday.
And then when your friend decided she wanted her cd back, it already carved something in your soul.
And now everytime you hear any of their songs (even those that aren’t included in the album that your friend lent you)
you will be in the verge of crying.
Suddenly you will miss your highschool life.
You will miss your highschool friends so terribly you want to text them right at that moment
You will miss the uniform you’ve been so comfortable wearing
You will miss how you can take an exam without studying and still have good grades.
You will miss your carefree and childish highschool self.
And you will just miss how it all was.
So much has changed now.
I just can’t help but notice that everything is different now.
I can just thank God for creating memories. |
| posted by cameL @ 8:50:00 PM |
|
|
|
|
|
and then let’s talk about friendship.
i can say that I have many friends, but if I will consider the deeper meaning of “friend” for me then I’ll say that I’ve just acquired few.
I’m not the type that will approach a stranger and make friends with him/her. Hay why am I like that?
I always want the security of knowing that someone likes me before I talk to him/her.
When I was in grade school, I will only talk to people if they talk to me first. I don’t volunteer to join them in recess, I waited for them to invite me.
The same goes for highschool. The only difference is that I learn to greet a person first. Usually I’ll just greet
people back when they greet me.
I seem so anti-social but I really am not. Maybe I’m just scared of rejection, and of feeling that I’m pushing myself to someone.
But now I can safely say that I’ve improved.
Err… I’m not liking this entry. |
| posted by cameL @ 8:35:00 PM |
|
|
|
|
|
napanuod ko sa eat bulaga kanina
Pia: ayon sa kwento, sino ang kapatid ni Hansel?
Contestant: pretzel!!
Natigilan si pia at pati yung mga audience.
Contestant: PRETZEL!!!!
Tahimik pa rin.
Contestant: Gretel pala! Gretel!
Kinwento ko kay cheska (youngest sis ko), tumawa kami pareho after ko ikwento. After ilang segundo..
Cheska: anu bang Hansel? Yung tinapay?
Natigilan ako’t napatingin sa kanya.Naisip ko na lang…baka nga naman related sila ni Hansel.. |
| posted by cameL @ 5:42:00 PM |
|
|
|
|
| Thursday, May 03, 2007 |
hello hehe wala lang. I just read ara’s blog and was just inspired to write tonight hehe.
wished I was as good as her when it comes to writing, in expressing my thoughts into words.
Hmm..so let’s talk about love wahehehe..hindi bagay pero wala lang
i’m a member of NBSB club, or the girls with No Boyfriend Since Birth.
Ewan ko, I had suitors, nagkataon lang na hindi ko sila gusto.
Maybe I refused to give them the chance for me to like them, but then it’s their fault. Ambilis nila sumuko.
Siguro medyo perfectionist din ako when it comes to having a boyfriend.
I like my first boyfriend-relationship to be very special, kaya siguro ako naging masyadong choosy.
Naniniwala kasi ako na the first love is very special, and I want to give that love to someone deserving of it.
Sadly, I haven’t found that guy until now, maybe I have not looked enough.
Honestly, i’m a bit uncomfortable when I’m with guys.
I cannot avoid thinking that all they want to do is flirt, collect girls, have fun and read (or rather “drool” at) playboy magazines.
I know I’m being unfair but what can I do? I’m a witness to my sister and girl friends’ several heartbreaks.
And oh, just a sight of the guy smoking automatically removes him from my list.
Whoa, that cut off the list by more than half maybe.
But then, if he’s willing to quit smoking for me then I’ll be very happy. ^_^
I will just become a little bit at ease with a guy when I know he likes another girl.
Right now, the guy I am closest to is my friend’s suitor.
I’m not the type of girl who will give you signs that I like you.
When I was in grade 5 I had a crush on this certain guy. When he learned about it, he started talking to me.
And days after, my classmates are already teasing us, saying that the guy also has a crush on me.
I lost interest in him. I don’t like the idea of a guy liking me just because he knows I liked him.
I admit there were times that I feel an extreme urge to have a boyfriend.
I want to care for someone and I want someone to care for me like a boyfriend would.
I want someone who would check wether I’m home already and if I have eaten lunch.
I want to look forward to valentine’s day and not just treat it as an ordinary day to feel bitter and alone.
I want to have someone keeping me awake at night just because I’m thinking of him.
I want someone who would hug me and kiss my worries away.
I’m excited at the thought of having someone I can be totally open with. Of someone I can write love letters to.
Of someone whom I can be totally me and still love me just the same.
But even if I repeatedly experience those times, I was still able to stop myself of picking just any guy and make an
illusion that we’re both very in love with each other.
Before, and maybe until now, I’m afraid of being hurt because of loving too much and not having the love I expect in return.
But then I thought that it is wrong, maybe it should be “love, and just love.”
I made a promise to myself that when I finally have my first boyfriend, I will let him experience all the love
I’ve been saving for him. All the sweetness I’ve never shown to any other guy.
And if ever the time comes that we have to part ways, I want him to have no regrets in making me a part of his life.
I bet that guy would be very lucky. Hehe.
|
| posted by cameL @ 9:40:00 PM |
|
|
|
|
| About Me |
|
Name: cameL
Home: Philippines
About Me: ¤ camille/camz ¤ 16 ¤ filipino ¤ may 24 ¤ gemini ¤ 2nd child ¤ senior ¤ sienan ¤ music lover ¤ lazy ¤ easily amused and distracted ¤ weird ¤ moody ¤ has a short-term memory ¤ coward ¤ loves jokes ¤ observer ¤ stupid ¤ sensitive ¤ optimistic ¤ loves friends ¤ listener ¤ modest ¤ loves receiving letters ¤ internet addict ¤ bow ^_^
See my complete profile
|
| Previous Post |
|
| Archives |
|
|
| Links |
|
|
| Powered by |
 |
|
