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Thursday, May 03, 2007

hello hehe wala lang. I just read ara’s blog and was just inspired to write tonight hehe.
wished I was as good as her when it comes to writing, in expressing my thoughts into words.

Hmm..so let’s talk about love wahehehe..hindi bagay pero wala lang
i’m a member of NBSB club, or the girls with No Boyfriend Since Birth.
Ewan ko, I had suitors, nagkataon lang na hindi ko sila gusto.
Maybe I refused to give them the chance for me to like them, but then it’s their fault. Ambilis nila sumuko.

Siguro medyo perfectionist din ako when it comes to having a boyfriend.
I like my first boyfriend-relationship to be very special, kaya siguro ako naging masyadong choosy.
Naniniwala kasi ako na the first love is very special, and I want to give that love to someone deserving of it.

Sadly, I haven’t found that guy until now, maybe I have not looked enough.
Honestly, i’m a bit uncomfortable when I’m with guys.
I cannot avoid thinking that all they want to do is flirt, collect girls, have fun and read (or rather “drool” at) playboy magazines.
I know I’m being unfair but what can I do? I’m a witness to my sister and girl friends’ several heartbreaks.

And oh, just a sight of the guy smoking automatically removes him from my list.
Whoa, that cut off the list by more than half maybe.
But then, if he’s willing to quit smoking for me then I’ll be very happy. ^_^

I will just become a little bit at ease with a guy when I know he likes another girl.
Right now, the guy I am closest to is my friend’s suitor.

I’m not the type of girl who will give you signs that I like you.
When I was in grade 5 I had a crush on this certain guy. When he learned about it, he started talking to me.
And days after, my classmates are already teasing us, saying that the guy also has a crush on me.
I lost interest in him. I don’t like the idea of a guy liking me just because he knows I liked him.

I admit there were times that I feel an extreme urge to have a boyfriend.
I want to care for someone and I want someone to care for me like a boyfriend would.
I want someone who would check wether I’m home already and if I have eaten lunch.
I want to look forward to valentine’s day and not just treat it as an ordinary day to feel bitter and alone.
I want to have someone keeping me awake at night just because I’m thinking of him.
I want someone who would hug me and kiss my worries away.
I’m excited at the thought of having someone I can be totally open with. Of someone I can write love letters to.
Of someone whom I can be totally me and still love me just the same.

But even if I repeatedly experience those times, I was still able to stop myself of picking just any guy and make an
illusion that we’re both very in love with each other.

Before, and maybe until now, I’m afraid of being hurt because of loving too much and not having the love I expect in return.
But then I thought that it is wrong, maybe it should be “love, and just love.”

I made a promise to myself that when I finally have my first boyfriend, I will let him experience all the love
I’ve been saving for him. All the sweetness I’ve never shown to any other guy.
And if ever the time comes that we have to part ways, I want him to have no regrets in making me a part of his life.
I bet that guy would be very lucky. Hehe.

posted by cameL @ 9:40:00 PM

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